Housewives of New Jersey

Housewives of New Jersey

These shows give us a wonderful opportunity to have a teach]]>  I probably shouldn’t admit I watch such a show, but since I write about relationships, I think of it as research.  I wish they had had these things when I was writing my bo]]>  I wouldn’t have had to write about friends and relatives.

Recently, there was a big brouhaha  about a book about Danielle.  And it hasn’t gotten any better.  Evidently the mother of some of the girls found this book and took it with her to a salon, where most of the girls go.  From there it went everywhere, including to her younger sister Dina.  The new identity Danielle had worked so hard to make for herself was exploded in an instant.  Needless to say, things weren’t pretty.  I’m not going into details, because I miss a lot.  I don’t get to see the whole episode and every episode.  In the final, or last so far, episode, Theresa had a melt down at a restaurant get-together.

Let me give my insight on it all:

First, the mother should have gone to Danielle privately and personally.  And she would have found out what really happened or at least Danielle’s side, which she could have then checked out if she felt the need to.  If it had been HER daughter that had had such a book written about HER, I’m sure she would have approached it differently.  I think she did it this way because she did want to have a reason to finally drive Danielle out of the family circle.  What she succeeded in doing was to make them all look bad.

Dina should have not gotten drawn in, but she too wanted to use this opportunity to her advantage.  If your sister likes someone, it really isn’t a good thing to be the one that makes her look bad.  She, too, could have gone personally to Danielle or to her sister to go with her to Danielle for the truth.

Theresa decided to have a get-together at a restaurant she had intended to have at her wonderful new home that wasn’t ready to occupy yet..  Knowing how her family felt about Danielle, it’s hard to believe she included her.  Unbeknownced to everyone, Danielle decided to not only attend, but to bring “The Book”.   This was her mistake.  Unbeknownced being the operative word.  If you go to someone else’s party, you should not take over that party to air your latest miff no matter how hurtful it was to you.  That too should be handled privately.

Theresa had every right to be upset.  But instead of stopping the discussion on the book when it started and asking Danielle to do it privately not at her party, she let it go on.   She probably didn’t stop it because she wasn’t taught what was wrong.  They prefer the excitement of a woman turning a table over in the midst of the verbal fight.  I understood the mistakes as they were being made.  If you don’t see them and don’t understand what is going wrong as it is going wrong, you end up with emotions expressed in the wrong way, at the wrong thing.  She exploded when Danielle made patronizing comments to her.  That was bad, but not nearly as taking over the party.  THAT is what Theresa should have been upset about and stopped early on.

We tend to get what we want.  Did you know the Bible says “the evil run to do evil?”  They don’t just happen upon it.  They do it on purpose.  Purposefully stirring and aggrevating.  We don’t like to think we are evil, but if the end result is ugly and destructive, then it couldn’t have been good or of God.

There are three kinds of people in Proverbs: the wise, the naive or foolish, and the evil.  If we’re not wise, then we are either foolish and naive, or evil.  At what point do we pass from foolish to being evil?  There are some people that are foolish and are drawn to the wise; and then there are some naive people that are drawn to the evil.  It tells something about us when we are drawn to the darker side.  I can’t make the judgment on this group and won’t.  But I do think most of them believe in God and His redeeming grace through Jesus.  So, there is hope for them.

The mother sat there laughing as her family made fools of themselves on national television.  I was ready to cry.   And to think there were children in the room.  The Bible says sin goes down to the third and forth generation.

Another mistake Danielle made was to not believe the mother.  Until you can prove otherwise, you really should back-off and take her at her word.  Danielle did not need to make things worse for herself.  She will not win as the sore spot in a big close family.  But the, some people love crisis.  I think it was too many in this crowd who think they have so much love.  Love really does need to extend passed the family door or it isn’t love at all.  Loving a crisis is not love either.

There were so many victims in this fiasco and they all were quick to lick their wounds.  But because the ones licking their wounds were the ones that were also causing the problems, they will never be seen as a true victim.

Theresa was worried that she might not have been seen as a class act.  Darling, you really need to stop the f-bombs and the inappropriate sexual talk.  Class is not what I think of when I watch this program.  The Bible talks about the tongue being the unruly member.

They say we watch this stuff to see a train wreck.  I don’t know, I liked Jon & Kate just fine when I thought they loved each other dearly and thought the other was the greatest thing going.  I didn’t want to see the train wreck.  I wanted to watch them walk happily into the sunset sixty years down the road as their brood had grown to phenomenal proportions.  Life is going to have enough to interest me without making it all the worse with our temper tantrums, manipulations, and ignorance.  And I would have just as soon seen this family handle all this in the right way.  I love to say “Way to go!”  Gee that sounds familiar.  Oh ya, it’s God that likes to say, “Well done thou good and faithful servant.”  It’s such a shame that people that have so much love and work so hard end up looking so poorly.  I’m no one to talk because I just published a book telling some of our sinful ways.  But because God redeemed it all, it’s called my testimony!  To God be the glory, not me!!!

A handful of patience is worth a bushel of brains.  Dutch proverb

 

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