I was counseling a lady the other day about the problems in her marriage. She was tired of her husband’s foolishness and being the one to rescue them financially. I suggested maybe she shouldn’t be so good at things. It reminded me of a story when I was yo]]> (Where is summer school when you need it?) We were way back and could see what was happening as another driver ha]]> “Don’t look at them!” she instructed me. Then she proceeded to act like she was looking elsewhere unaware of them at all. Boy! Did they scatter!
I just think most husbands that have been letting their wife take care of things, if all of a sudden he discovers something has happened to his wife and she’s acting ditzy, will realize somebody has to step up and be the adult. So, maybe it would be better if you weren’t so good at everything. This woman thinks she’s the good guy and certainly doesn’t think of herself as being part of the problem.
Most of us don’t think we are all that sinful. Certainly not like Adam and Eve. They ruined it for all of us, for goodness sake. Well, let’s look at their sin and see if it applies to our life. What was the first sin? If you said Eve eating the apple, you missed it by a little. No, it was Adam stepping back from his responsibility and allowing Eve to answer the serpent. Then Eve committed the second sin: agreeing to eat the fruit. Their sin was really unbelief: they didn’t believe God – unbelief, lack of faith in God.
That reminds me of what my little counselee was telling me. Her husband doesn’t trust her to do what he wants and she doesn’t trust him to do what she knows needs to be done; and neither is trusting God to work in the situation. Sounds like unbelief to me. The sin of Adam and Eve! But she’s just trying to help.
Let’s look at somebody else in the Bible. Who is the worst of the worst? Even worse than Pharaoh? Yes, Judas. Well, we certainly couldn’t be that bad! Judas’s sin wasn’t lack of faith. I believed he believed Jesus was the Messiah as did the other disciples by then. He had faith in Jesus. I don’t believe he sold Jesus out for the money. He carried the purse and if he lost his connection to Jesus, there would be no more money coming in. No, he didn’t want to lose Jesus. Then why would he turn him in? Remember Jesus was notorious for walking away from the authorities. Judas expected him to walk away. Then why would he do it?
I believe Judas was tired of being a dusty, dirty band of men. Jesus kept talking about ruling and reigning and Judas wanted for that to begin. Maybe this time Jesus would get tired of the authorities coming after Him and He would finally start the ruling and reigning phase. Judas really didn’t think he could lose. If Jesus walked away, he could pocket the money. If He did decide to take His authority and start reigning, then that was all the better. It never dawned on him Jesus would die! No one was more shocked than Judas when they took Him away. In fact, he was the only one that tried to get Jesus freed.
What was Judas’ sin? I would say the sin of manipulation or control: wanting to control things. He couldn’t let Jesus do it His way because He wasn’t doing it quickly enough for Judas. Sound familiar? How many women get tired of waiting and take things into their own hands. They openly admit to being a control freak. I don’t think they think they are manipulating, but it is at some point – many points. To control everything around them they have to get into error in many ways.
Manipulation is the sin of witchcraft. It makes sense for Judas to have that sin. But me? Certainly not me?! Yes, little old me. Now that’s mindboggling. Me, committing the sin of Judas. I call the Sin of Judas: helping God. Judas was just trying to help push things along. But God doesn’t want us pushing things along when it isn’t time yet. He is a God of perfect timing. God wants us obedient; that’s how we help Him. He doesn’t want us doing our own thing trying to help Him when we think He’s such a slow-poke and doesn’t look like He gets it. We wait and wait. And things get worse and worse until if we don’t do anything it can’t be salvaged. Look at Mary and Martha. Jesus lollygagged until Lazarus, their brother, was in the grave! But oh Martha, who we so often disparage, proved to be the woman of faith that she was: “…and even now it’s not too late.” (He’s been in the grave four days!!!) Even now. I don’t know if my dead brother stinketh if I could have said “Even now…”
A control freak? A little manipulation now and then? Helping God? Maybe it’s worse than we thought it was and maybe it really hurts our marriage, our family, our finances, and our health more than we realize. Maybe we aren’t as innocent as we think we are. Maybe our husbands aren’t the only one with a black hat on. And maybe we need Jesus as much as he does. And maybe we need to tell Him that. And him, too. How do you say, “I’m sorry?” One word at a time. One person at a time. And put yourself on that list, too. “And most of all, I forgive myself.”
Now, I think it’s time we each pray for ourselves and ask God to deliver us from helping God in any way other than He leads us to do. And then report for duty. There are things He needs done today. And some of them will be very tedious and mundane.
I love you,